Day 8: I cheated.

31o.2

That's a total loss of 4.2 lb in a week. That's purty darn good.

I'm discouraged though. I feel good, I'm getting compliments, my body is definitely different. But this morning I'm tired, really tired, for whatever reason. I'm not sure why because I went to sleep at a decent hour. I got up at 4 with Anthony ... but then fell back asleep for like an hour. I think that might be why I'm still tired. The nap did more harm than good.

He's asleep right now, so I got to actually work out without anyone awake.

Another excuse I'm going to use is that the place between my shoulder blades hurts again, and no amount of back-cracking is helping this morning. But I skipped the side lunge and shoulder raises. I did only one set of front lunges and bicep curls. I am doing the cardio and ab-work, and most of the strength exercises. I feel guilty, but also I feel like sometimes you just need a break. So long as I don't do it every day, and I get back into it fully tomorrow morning, then I should be just fine.

This is stupid, as a 4.2 lb loss in a week is nothing to sneeze at, but I wish I lost more. I feel like I've been working my ass off for a measly 4 pounds. I keep telling myself that I lost more fat, definitely, and gained lean muscle. I hope. That's usually something that you tell people to make them feel better if they gained a pound or two, y'know? Not necessarily because you believe it but because you want them to feel better.

Oh well. It is what it is. Only a couple more days of Level 1!!

P.S. - if you do read this blog and want to follow me, please do so. Also, if you do read, leave some comments!! It's always encouraging to see that someone commented on my blog. Makes me feel like I'm not 'talking' to dead air, lol. =)

Day 7: Woohoo!! One week!

The workout goes much faster now. The only time I had to break was during push-ups (which I think I've been doing a little bit wrong until today), and for side-lunges with anterior arm raises. I could probably do the arm raises if I wasn't using 5 lb weights, but I do everything else with them, and my body will adjust eventually.

I'm kinda' scared to move up to Level 2!! I watched it the other day just to see what to expect ... but still. It's gonna' totally kick my butt!!

Tomorrow is weigh-in day. Wish me luck!

I got another compliment from the lady at work yesterday. She pulled my shirt back (I was wearing a real billowy blouse) and was like, "Look at her!" in front of a few of my other co-workers. I was a little embarrassed but really pleased. Then I started walking back to my office and she says, "Look at those saggy pants! You go girl!" LMAO. She's nuts, but oh-so-loveable!

So I take it this mean that The Shred is working. =)

Day 6: I can't believe I'm still doing this!

Any other time, I probably would have quit already. Now that I'm so close, especially to Sunday which is my weigh-in day, I'm getting excited. I've had people already complimenting me on having lost weight. And it hasn't even been a week yet! I'm so excited!

I don't believe I've laid out how I'm going to do this. I will weigh in every week on Sunday, but I will only take progress pictures and measure after each level.

Yesterday I didn't eat so well, but I tried not to eat as much of the bad stuff as I usually would. That was a success. I did have a coke, though! Everything in moderation, right?

Anywho, got to get showered and ready for work (I get to wear jeans today, yay!), but I wanted to write something really quick so ya'll know I did work out today!!

Day 5: Halfway through Level 1!!

Oy vey!

Proud of myself. I had to really talk myself into doing it today, even though I was already awake with the baby. Anthony ended up falling asleep in his swing, so that gave me the opportunity to work out ... but I still didn't feel like it and had to talk myself into it. If I'm going to focus on the positive here (not the 'negative' of having to talk myself into it), I DID IT! I did Day 5.

I am losing steam though. I'm really afraid of sabotaging myself with, "Oh what does it matter? I have so far to go!"

I wonder if weighing in might help my motivation ... I plan to weigh in on Sunday. Maybe I should make a goal to make it until Sunday in order to weigh in. If I don't lose any weight, though, I'm going to be, quite frankly, devastated.

I'm watching Level 2 as we speak, just to see what to expect next Thursday when I start Level 2. It definitely looks harder ... but hopefully by the end of Level 1, I'll be in better shape and it'll just be a little more of a challenge and not something that makes me feel like I'm gonna die. It's nice to see that the girls in the video have some trouble with some of the exercises (Natalie mostly, even though she does the "more challenging' moves), and that they sweat like crazy.

One move I have a lot of problems doing is a dynamic lunge. I can do the squat and press move, but the forward-back and wide-stance side-to-side lunges are really hard for me. I keep losing my balance. So for now, I just do the best I can. Lunges might just be something I'm not meant to do ... at least at this size. Being larger makes the balance thing harder, I think.

Also, it's a little discouraging seeing that most of the women doing the 30 day (baby bump) Shred (http://30daybumpshred.blogspot.com/) are in the low 200s or the 100s. I weigh over 300 lb. I'm over 100 lb overweight for my height. Quite honestly, if I can do this, there's no reason that you can't! Seriously! That isn't meant to be detrimental, but inspiring (if I can be so bold as to say I'm inspiring). This also makes me feel like I have more pressure to succeed because I a) want to show people it can be done, and b) I feel I need to lose more weight because I am heavier.

I've decided that for hitting the 300 lb mark, I'm going to get myself a new lip gloss (or lip stick, whichever). Losing 15 lb is nothing to sneeze at, and there's no reason not to reward myself. It's my first goal to reach, and it deserves a reward!

I strongly recommend a goal and reward system. I think it helps keep you on track because you have something fun and nice to look forward to and do for yourself. I know this is dumb, but I'm excited to get the lip gloss. And then excited to get the nail polish. They're just little girly things that make you feel nice. I like it!

Side note about personal life: We're thinking about moving back to the other side of town. It's Sean's former apartment complex and we might be able to get a 2 bedroom with den apartment (essentially a 3-bedroom) for cheaper than what we pay for our townhouse. We really want to get out of here because the owners of this townhouse are ridiculous. I don't know if it's going to happen, but it's an exciting possibility to stay there until we have enough saved up for a house. =)

Day 4: Tired

I was really tired today. I still did the workout and it was still easier than it had been before. I still had to take a couple of breaks ... but MAN, not getting enough sleep and then doing The Shred is totally not what I'd recommend.

I would like to take a moment to say that I am so extremely flattered by the number of positive responses I've received. They have definitely helped to keep me motivated and to keep going! I've had several people decide to start The Shred along with me, and I can't be more happy that we're all in this boat together!

I know I haven't posted my food journal recently, but it's been the same general rotation of oatmeal and yogurt for breakfast, nuts for snack, sandwiches or leftover meat for lunch w/ a side (either vegetables or noodles), then another meat for supper. Sometimes if I'm hungry for a snack, or something sweet, I'll have a bowl of cereal. I love cereal!! I'll try to get back into the habit of posting a regular food journal post, I've just been really busy the past couple of nights and didn't get the opportunity to do it.

Also, I have been drinking at least 88 oz of water per day. I have a goal to drink three water bottles full at work, which are 24 oz a piece for a total of 72 oz. Then I usually have 2-3 glasses of water at home after I finish The Shred ... then whatever I drink after work.

I'm not quite dieting, per se, but I'm trying not to eat as much and trying to make better food choices. I think if I ease myself into everything, I actually stand the chance of being able to succeed and not self-sabotage. Sometimes we really can be our own worst enemies!

Today, Thursday (technically Day 5), I'll be walking around a local neighborhood putting out my Avon books, so that will be some extra, low-key exercise to help keep my joints moving, muscles working, and blood pumping; so I'm proud of myself for that!

I know it's only 3:30 AM ... but I feel wide awake, so I may just do The Shred now and see if I can get in a nap before work. I need to be in early today (by 7), so I needed to do The Shred early anyway. Hm ... I'm a bit hungry ... might be time for some cereal first!

Anywho, keep on Shreddin' ladies!

Day 3: MUCH better!!

Today went over much better than yesterday. I don't know if it's just because the soreness started to go away or what, but I felt much more rejuvenated today and didn't have to rest nearly as much. I was VERY proud of myself!

I also exercise really does make you more energetic. I always thought that was a complete crock; I couldn't fathom how exerting so much energy to begin with could really make you that energetic. But I feel wonderful. I'm still sore (and it hurts when I sneeze), but aside from that, I really do feel quite good.

Sean keeps saying that he's proud of me. =) I'm still struggling with the whole he's-going-to-like-me-better-when-I'm-thin-and-pretty thing. But ... I'm going to like myself better, too, aren't I? Why shouldn't he? Well, because he should love me no matter what. ... but then, shouldn't I love myself no matter what?

Touché, self.

On top of that ... and this is going to sound silly ... but I feel thinner already. It's probably just because my muscles are becoming tighter and sucking things in ... but really, it's a pretty wonderful feeling! My skin is also looking clearer and smoother. I used St. Ive's Apricot Scrub today and then used my Avon Liiv Botanicals daytime facial moisturizer. My face is all nice and smooth now!

I hope I can keep this up, I really do. Here are a few health tidbits ...

• You build muscle when you work out because putting stress on them tears the muscle; when the muscle heals it is bigger and stronger.

• Building lean muscles helps you burn more calories at rest.

• Caffeine stimulates insulin production which can in turn lead to more fat being stored in your body.

• Low fat does not mean low calorie!! Often times companies replace fat with sugar so that the product still tastes good, thereby increasing the food's caloric content.

I personally think that it's okay to take rests. Sure, Jillian says catch your breath for five seconds ... but sometimes, I've taken a little bit longer. We're not Biggest Loser contestants who have to do what she says all day, all the time. I feel that you know your body the best — if you need to catch your breath for 15-30 seconds do so. But get right back into the exercise. If you finish the set with the girls, you will feel ten times better about yourself!

Anywho, I feel like I had a lot more to post earlier, but I can't think of anything else.

I hope everyone is doing well!

Food Journal, Day 2 of the 30-day Shred

Breakfast: 1 packet Lower Sugar Maple & Brown Sugar oatmeal; Yoplait Light Raspberry Yogurt

Snack: almonds

Lunch: leftover pot roast and vegetables (carrots, celery, onions)

Dinner: philly cheesesteak with potato munchers (little tater tot things with cheese in them; SO YUM!), ketchup, ranch

Water: at least 88 oz.

Other beverages: three cups half&half sweet tea (half sweet, half unsweet); half a cup of coffee with non-dairy, sugar-free powdered Hazlenut creamer

Exercise: day 2 of the 30-day shred

Day 2 of The Shred: A Little Discouraged

Completed day two ... it was much harder feeling than day one. Probably because I'm sore. I did do my girly push-ups better this morning, though, that made me happy. But they were still hard.

I had to stop and rest a few times more than I did yesterday, which discourages me because with an exercise program, you want to feel like you're going forwards, not backwards. When I need to rest more, it makes me feel like I'm going backwards. I know it's probably just my body adjusting to the exercise — it is a very intense work-out, but it still bothered me. I am, however, anxious to see what tomorrow brings.

I feel pretty good, aside from soreness. I'm sore mostly where my arms meet my shoulders/chest in the front. Other than that, everything else just feels worked-out, so to speak. My only other physical complaint is the feeling between my shoulder blades like my back needs to crack but won't. It was bugging me during jumping jacks this morning. Oy.

Anywho, on a lighter note, I have my meals planned out. =) I am having low-sugar Maple & Brown Sugar oatmeal with yogurt for breakfast, I have leftover pot roast and vegetables for lunch, and I think Sean is going to be making steak and noodles for dinner. My goal next week for lunches (and the day in general) is to incorporate more vegetables into my diet. I know on South Beach that was really important and I had a lot of success with it.

This shouldn't be too difficult as I like raw veggies; I dip them in ranch, but it's better than nothing!

I hope the other ladies are having great success!! We just have to keep it up, ladies ... this hurdle should subside!

Food Journal

Breakfast: Trix w/ 1% milk

Snack: Yoplait Light, Strawberry Shortcake flavor

Lunch: Mexican - Unsweet tea with lemon and Splenda; chips and salsa; Nachos Texanos (tortilla
chips, grilled chicken, beef, and shrimp, lettuce, pico de gallo, guacamole, and sour cream)

Dinner/Evening Snack: Trix w/ 1% milk

Water: I'm pretty sure I got at least 64 oz. Exercise made me very thirsty!

Day 1: I just got my ass kicked.

Jillian Michaels just kicked my behind. Holy cow.

I feel good. I bet I'll feel better once I catch my breath! Sheez Louise ...

I only had to 'rest' a few times ... I tried to do the "catch your breath for five seconds" thing ... but sometimes I just needed a little bit longer. But I always got back into the exercise — and I felt amazing for being able to get back in there and finish up the set with the girls. Overall, I think I did rather well!!

I can only imagine how sore I'm going to be. Those strength exercises are a killer!! But I want those arms ... so it'll take some work. I have to say though, I can BARELY even do the girly modified push-ups ... how embarrassing!!

Oh well, hopefully as we go along, the exercises will get easier for me. That is, until I have to switch up to Level 2!

I'm proud of myself!! I just downed a bunch of water. And Anthony only started fussing when I was finishing up the cool down ... so go me on picking a good time when he was occupied to do it! I also feel accomplished because I managed to rock him to sleep after I was finished shredding and walk him up the stairs without dying, lmao.

But now he's asleep, and I'm recovering. Downing some water and just going to relax and cool off. I am literally dripping with sweat. Ew. But awesome at the same time.

How did you ladies do?!

Tomorrow's the big day!

Tomorrow the 30-day Shred begins. I'm excited and nervous at the same time. I don't want this to be one of those things I start and then quit halfway through. I know that I have the opportunity to seriously make a positive change in my life and I want to do that, and follow through. If I don't value myself enough to give myself at least 20 minutes a day to improve my life — well, that's really sad, isn't it?

I watched The Shred DVD, just to know what to expect. There isn't any one thing that seems difficult, but Jillian doesn't really give you the opportunity to rest! Which, really, is part of her point. She says that in a 20 minute work-out, if you want it to work, there is no break. I think that makes sense, really ... gotta' make the most of the short period of time. I like the 3-2-1 circuits that she does (3 minutes strength, 2 minutes cardio, 1 minute abs) ... the changing-it-up aspect should hopefully make the workout go faster and not seem as long (or boring).

Also, there are modified moves which I will probably need to do for at least a little bit. I am excited to work up to doing an actual, real, non-girly push-up. I've never really done them (not the proper way anyway). I will keep track here of my progress, the things I have difficulty with, and those things I hope to improve on.

I expect you all to hold me accountable!

It's not going to be easy ... I'm excited now, but there are going to be days I just want to give up and sleep in. I need to push through those times — it's only 20 minutes. I can do that. I really can.

I'm going to get my husband take before photographs for me. When I wake up tomorrow (after I pee, hehe), I'll weight myself. I already have my measurements. I just hope my weight doesn't depress me. If it does ... well, I've still got to get motivated. How do I expect the number on the scale to go down (and the image in the mirror to change) if I don't do anything?

I'll also keep track of the food I eat. If I'm looking at what I'm eating, it'll help me pin-point where I need to make some changes and improvements.

All right, guys ... this is it. HERE WE GO!