Day 5: Halfway through Level 1!!

Oy vey!

Proud of myself. I had to really talk myself into doing it today, even though I was already awake with the baby. Anthony ended up falling asleep in his swing, so that gave me the opportunity to work out ... but I still didn't feel like it and had to talk myself into it. If I'm going to focus on the positive here (not the 'negative' of having to talk myself into it), I DID IT! I did Day 5.

I am losing steam though. I'm really afraid of sabotaging myself with, "Oh what does it matter? I have so far to go!"

I wonder if weighing in might help my motivation ... I plan to weigh in on Sunday. Maybe I should make a goal to make it until Sunday in order to weigh in. If I don't lose any weight, though, I'm going to be, quite frankly, devastated.

I'm watching Level 2 as we speak, just to see what to expect next Thursday when I start Level 2. It definitely looks harder ... but hopefully by the end of Level 1, I'll be in better shape and it'll just be a little more of a challenge and not something that makes me feel like I'm gonna die. It's nice to see that the girls in the video have some trouble with some of the exercises (Natalie mostly, even though she does the "more challenging' moves), and that they sweat like crazy.

One move I have a lot of problems doing is a dynamic lunge. I can do the squat and press move, but the forward-back and wide-stance side-to-side lunges are really hard for me. I keep losing my balance. So for now, I just do the best I can. Lunges might just be something I'm not meant to do ... at least at this size. Being larger makes the balance thing harder, I think.

Also, it's a little discouraging seeing that most of the women doing the 30 day (baby bump) Shred (http://30daybumpshred.blogspot.com/) are in the low 200s or the 100s. I weigh over 300 lb. I'm over 100 lb overweight for my height. Quite honestly, if I can do this, there's no reason that you can't! Seriously! That isn't meant to be detrimental, but inspiring (if I can be so bold as to say I'm inspiring). This also makes me feel like I have more pressure to succeed because I a) want to show people it can be done, and b) I feel I need to lose more weight because I am heavier.

I've decided that for hitting the 300 lb mark, I'm going to get myself a new lip gloss (or lip stick, whichever). Losing 15 lb is nothing to sneeze at, and there's no reason not to reward myself. It's my first goal to reach, and it deserves a reward!

I strongly recommend a goal and reward system. I think it helps keep you on track because you have something fun and nice to look forward to and do for yourself. I know this is dumb, but I'm excited to get the lip gloss. And then excited to get the nail polish. They're just little girly things that make you feel nice. I like it!

Side note about personal life: We're thinking about moving back to the other side of town. It's Sean's former apartment complex and we might be able to get a 2 bedroom with den apartment (essentially a 3-bedroom) for cheaper than what we pay for our townhouse. We really want to get out of here because the owners of this townhouse are ridiculous. I don't know if it's going to happen, but it's an exciting possibility to stay there until we have enough saved up for a house. =)